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Sometimes, you fight so hard for something that the only way you can claim victory is to declare defeat. Unfortunately, I have had to declare defeat in a certain area of my life. I hate it, but I can see that the war has been over for quite some time. The one thing I was trying to hold on to never was mine to begin with. I never actually held it at all… I was only making myself crazy and in the process, making a fool out of myself…
I wonder why life is such a struggle? I think that I am the reason my life seems so hard. If I could get over myself, my issues of the past, the hurt of the past and today, I think I would be a much better person. Maybe even a little happier in the process…
Why do I fight for things? Why do I think certain things are actually obtainable? Why do I think that things will go one way when there is, in reality, no possible way that things will work out? I am truly a fool…
Until…
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5 Responses to “The Victory of Defeat…”
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July 7th, 2008 at 4:23 PM
Some things really are worth fighting for, though what an individual determines those things to be will be completely up to that particular individual’s values.
But there are indeed some things you’re better off letting go of and telling yourself “I will just be myself and if it comes to me, then so be it. If it does not come to me, then so be it.”
That is one of the greatest challenges in life, figuring out the things you ~can~ change by fighting, and figuring out the things you ~can’t~ change no matter how hard you fight. I too have fought for things that never seemed to change, and I’m trying hard here lately to accept that those things are just the way they are, even though I’ve realized they will never be shaped quite the way I want. The best thing I can do is just to assimilate that knowledge and go forward in search of other things that make me happy.
FromJuly 7th, 2008 at 7:49 PM
Ah, BHC… That’s not the answer I was looking for. I need the freaking manual… RTFM!!! I need to know this:
a.) Is worth fighting for…
b.) Is not worth fighting for…
I’m tired of challenges… Give me the manual!!!
Cocoa
FromJuly 7th, 2008 at 8:20 PM
Hugs!
(And, FWIW, I haven’t found a manual for life yet either. When you find one, I need a copy too!)
FromJuly 9th, 2008 at 11:43 PM
You have the manual already, you just don’t read it.
Things worth fighting about:
1. God
2. Family
3. Yourself
Unfortunately, you’ve been fighting *against* yourself for so long, that *unhappiness* is your way of being. You have to force that out - through meditation, music, change of lifestyle, prayer, something, but it has got to be A CHANGE! I’ve read a lot of “I’m gonna change” on this blog, and now it’s time to. Do it! Start tomorrow! React to everything in a happy, good, kind way, even if you have to fake it. Be reasonable, but learn to love your brother even if he doesn’t love you back. (That’s in the manual too, b/t/w.) All of the answers are right in front of your face. Just take them.
FromJuly 10th, 2008 at 7:34 AM
Totally true, Josh. I have finally realized this and am trying to deal with letting these things go.
I posted this photo the other day to my Flickr page with the following caption:
Where do we go from here?!
I’ve been trying so hard for so long to hold on to things that I can’t hold on to any more. I have tried to hold on to emotions long after the time has come to get over it. I have tried to change people into seeing things my way. I have tried to do everything but focus on me and make me who I want to be…
I have been a fool for far too long worrying about things that I can not change, or even influence. Today has GOT TO BE a turning point for me…
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