This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 at 3:43 PM and is filed under Health, Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Warning: This post is a personal post. If you are looking for funny, video games, rap, or otherwise, this isn’t the post.
Lately things have been kind of up and down for me. I have had some marital issues which will end in divorce. I am also experiencing some health issues that I can’t seem to get over and the symptoms seem to be progressing daily. At least there is still breath in my lungs. Until there isn’t, I will just take it one day at a time.
My wife of 8 years and I have been “officially” separated since the beginning of December, 2006. Since then we have talked many times, cried a few, but overall kept things very cordial. It is hard for me to be around her and she doesn’t seem to understand that, but it is. I place no blame on either person in this relationship. If I had to, I would point the finger at me. It takes two to make a thing go right (ok, one reference to a rap song, It Takes Two by Rob Base, 1988). I will admit I didn’t do everything I should have done during our marriage but we both have faults and just didn’t get off to a good start. I’ll leave it at that.
Since she has been gone, it has just been Jackson (a 2 year old Black Lab) and Jaycee (an 8 year old gray tabby cat) keeping me company. We made the most of her being gone, we ate food, the dog and cat fought, Jackson and I fought, and we tried to maintain. We did our best but in my current condition, the situation still wasn’t what it should be between Jackson and me.
Well, last week, on Friday, Jennifer, my wife (also referred to as “her” and “she” in this post), came to get Jackson to take him to a friends house to live until she can get a place to keep him. I wanted to get rid of Jackson for a while because he is 85 pounds of pent up energy and living inside but Jennifer wanted to keep him. Needless to say, things got a little crazy around here with Jackson. Jackson and I had good times playing catch and sleeping/napping together (he sure did keep my legs warm at night) and we had some bad times, like when he would tear up the carpet, constantly aggravate the cat, piss around the house, like on my guitar, the entertainment system and cabinet, a $90 Targus laptop backpack with electronics and gear in it, etc.
Now that he is gone the house seems almost too quiet. When I open the garage and pull my car inside, there’s no barking. When I walk into the house from the garage there’s nobody to dang near knock me down and jump all over me. When I go outside to smoke, I still bend down to grab his chain to put on his collar so he can go out with me because he was my “smoking buddy”. When its time for bed, I don’t have anyone to holler “bed time” to and have him run and jump in the bed, right in my spot where I sleep. And, who am I going to let outside 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 times a night to use the bathroom? Things are different without him but a little stressful, nonetheless.
So, its just Jaycee and me. She keeps to herself. She wants food all the time (as you can tell from her photo). She hardly needs any attention. She just does her thing and I do mine. If I keep the litter box cleaned out and food in the bowl, this cat can make it, with or without dealing with me. That is very helpful in my currently overstressed life.
And on that note, I am a bit stressed these days. I have a stressful personal life right now. I have a stressful job right now. And for some strange reason I am extremely sick and can’t figure out why. When I first started going to the doctors they were treating me for nerves, anxiety, and depression. Well, my symptoms persisted (rapid weight loss and many trips to the bathroom throughout the day and night… Not number one, you do the math) and they have referred me to a gastrointestinal specialist.
Yesterday, I got scoped from both ends and had a CAT scan done on my lower mid region. After the scoping, the doctor reported that he did not find anything of concern in my colon or my esophagus. So, I don’t have Colitis or Crones Disease, both in the IBD category. That’s great news, but what is wrong with me? I have another appointment with the doctor on Thursday at 9:45 AM to discuss the results of my CAT scan and some blood work they did last Thursday. In the meantime, I guess I’ll continue to lose weight. Hey, it feels good being able to wear the same size pants I wore in high school! 
So, things are crazy. I keep my head up, try to go to work as much as possible when I can stay out of the bathroom and not walk around bent over double. I play video games to entertain myself and just try to rock on. I apologize for writing this post but I just wanted to write. Please don’t post any silly, sentimental comments about this stuff. Of course, don’t be rude and call me a little girl, either! I just wanted to write, so I did.
Until next time…
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4 Responses to “Life These Days…”
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January 31st, 2007 at 9:45 PM
I’m glad you wrote about it. Keep writing!
FromJanuary 31st, 2007 at 9:45 PM
Of course, I meant keep writing about whatever you want to write about!
FromFebruary 19th, 2007 at 3:04 PM
Hey just read this portion of your site — hope you are doing better…will you update everyone here on your condition. Hang in there man!!
FromFebruary 21st, 2007 at 8:21 AM
Everything is getting a little better and easier. I am still sick but not to the point that I was during the time this post was written. I am on some medication that has slowed down my “frequency” but the issues still exist.
After being scoped from both ends and having a CAT scan done, it appears I am a stressed out individual who is experiencing stress related IBS. Nothing more, nothing less… Great fun! I may post a blog entry about this in the near future.
Thanks for the comment!
Jeff
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